Broken Angel
by Anderling
Summary: Misa simply cannot live like this. She decides to end her life, looking back on it as she kills herself. One-shot, rated T for suicide.


**Author's Notes: Today was my English exam. I was bored and I knew all the things we had to learn for it, so I decided to write a fanfic to practice for the bit where we had to write a letter. That turned into this bit of Misa-ness. I don't even know why I wrote this about _Misa_? Ah well, it works, and I really like how it turned out, so who's complaining?  
Credit to the amazing Ben, a.k.a. Aro Volturi, for beta-ing!  
Have fun reading!**

* * *

My life was almost a fairytale once, you know.  
Once upon a time, there was a pretty young girl named Misa Amane. She was a popular Japanese idol with many fans, several close friends and a fiancé called Light Yagami. She was going to get a happy life together with him.  
Where did it all go wrong, then?  
Oh, right. My fiancé died, I locked myself in my house and after a while, my friends stopped calling and my fans stopped writing fanmail.  
I doubted I'd be missed for a while, considering the only person who still bothered to visit was the person who'd collect the rent every month...

The wind blew flurries of snow past my face. I didn't feel many emotions anymore, but I could appreciate the irony in this, would have smiled at it if I'd remembered how to. I settled for the weak grimace that somehow recalled a smile.  
The last year or so had been the winter of my life, in a way. Winter was the end of the year; this year had been the end of my life.  
Still, snow in February? That hadn't happened in years. Or maybe I was too out of it to actually remember? I couldn't tell which one it was...

For the first time since I'd stepped on the train to go here, I paused. No matter how much I had tried not to think about it, I finally realised something.  
Matsuda-san. He'd be crushed. He still bothered to call every once in a while, if he got off from work early. He still asked me how I was doing, even when everyone else merely talked about their own problems, trying to distract me from whatever I was thinking about.  
Mogi-san. When Matsuda-san told me about what happened to Light, rather than leaving me with my worries like almost everyone else had done, he stuck by me, let me rant towards him or cry on his shoulder. Even though he apparently had a big job with a detective or something and even though he didn't talk much, he still asked Matsuda from time to time how I was doing.  
Aizawa-san. For some reason, he disliked me for a while (the way he stared at me, like I was going to murder someone...), but after a while, he came to accept me and worry a bit about me. I was sure he'd at least be surprised when he found out exactly how messed-up I'd been even though I told him, Matsuda-san and Mogi-san over and over that I was fine, really, truly, honestly, I'm okay!

I sighed, shook my head to clear it from these thoughts and pressed on, walking towards a building I hadn't even bothered to think about for a long time. It was abandoned now, but a long time ago, it had been the headquarters for the Task Force assigned to capture Kira. I remembered being tied up in that building forever on suspicion of being the second Kira, then being forced to stay there for another few months or so before I was finally released. It wasn't a place with particular significance in the reason why I was going to do this, but it was the tallest building I knew of, and I didn't want to fall twice.

I made my way to the building with what was haste to me now that my entire universe had come to a complete standstill, but a casual stroll to the rest of the world. I paused at the door, wondering if the key code was still the same before deciding that I might as well try. After entering the eight-digit code, the door opened with more ease than I'd expected, considering it had been almost five years since it was last used. Slowly, I walked in and deciding that the staircase was too much of a bother, I opted for the elevator. Finding that that wasn't in use, though, I sighed, scowled weakly (I was too far gone for an impressive grimace) and walked up the stairs. I climbed them slowly, as if I was merely going upstairs to enjoy the view up on the rooftop. Once I got there, I walked to the edge of the roof, then paused again.

I ruffled around in my purse for a moment before pulling a handheld mirror out of it. I checked my make-up for a moment and my clothes.  
If I was going to die anyways, might as well die pretty.  
I'd bothered to wash my hair for the first time in a year (the shine and color of it surprised me; it had been coated in dirt and dust for so long), put on make-up and produced one of my old gothic lolita dresses to make me look more like I did seven years ago, when I first met Light in Aoyama. It was love at first sight and when he dropped something with his address on it, of course I was going to being it back.  
I half-smiled. It was a much, much happier time for me back then. Simpler. When all I had to worry about was wether or not I was in the top-ten most popular idols and wether or not Light liked me, rather than wondering if I was going to slit my wrists or overdose on sleeping meds.

Light... I'm so sorry. I just can't take it anymore...  
I looked at the sunset (wow, I got snow _and_ a sunset for my death? The gods of Irony must hate me today), pondering that thought for a second.  
Light. My love at first sight, the center of my universe, my almost-husband. When he died, he took every ounce of will to live with him in the grave. _Why did he have to die?..._ I thought, trying not to cry. And to die in the way he did, too, being killed by the one person he'd spent years trying to arrest.  
I'd once adored Kira, but he had killed Light, _my_ Light, and I couldn't – wouldn't – forgive him for that. Still, what could I do? From what Matsuda told me, Kira had killed Light before committing suicide. He was dead already, even though I'd have strangled him myself if I had the chance to. Revenge might've kept me on the run for a while, trying to avenge Light, but since that wasn't an option, I had nothing left to live for...

I climbed on the ledge of the roof, still looking at the sunset, and whispered a prayer, holding the rosary I'd worn at Light's funeral. It wasn't a fashion statement; I really was a Christian, and it was my way of dealing with this.  
"Dear God," I whispered, closing my eyes, "Forgive me for my sin. I had lost my way and hoped to find it again, but I can no longer go on. Forgive me."  
I let go of the rosary and held up my left hand to my face. The engagement ring Light had given me sparkled brightly, oblivious to my grief.  
"Happy Valentine's Day, Light," I whispered to it, praying to my own personal god. "I'll be with you in a minute. Sorry for making you wait."  
With that, I turned away from the sunset and let myself fall backwards towards the ground.  
Falling...  
Falling...  
Falling...  
I was gone before the pain caught up with me. And then... nothingness.

* * *

My body was found a few days later. Someone walking their dog had noticed a piece of black fabric in the bushes at the bottom of the building.  
The news reported the "tragic death" of "popular idol Misa Amane" in the nine o'clock news as if it was an accident; gone to enjoy the view, but tripped and fell. I was forgotten in a week.  
My funeral was calm and quiet. There were only four people there; Matsuda-san, Mogi-san, Aizawa-san and Ide-san. Only they knew the truth about why I'd died.

* * *

**  
I pity Misa, really. She annoys the crap out of me, but it's so sad what happened to her.  
By the way, I know Misa didn't find something with Light's address on it. But since she can't remember seeing Light's name with the Shinigami Eyes and googling for him, so I had to think up _something_, didn't I?  
As for the title, before I watched Death Note, I remember coming across a picture of Misa and going, "Wow, she looks really pretty, like an angel." As for the "broken" bit, emotionally speaking, Misa is broken beyond repair when Light dies, and the title is referencing that.  
Anyways. Please review! Long reviews make my day!**


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